Space Head 

There are many options for the headgear you might use when trying to block out the inane conversations fellow train passengers have, even on the quiet car. I don’t know why he went to Susan instead of you. You’re probably lucky he didn’t just report you to HR. Stop talking!!! Of late, the bright white… Read more

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Phone Booth

Somebody decided to take their frustrations with this world out on a lonely phone booth outside of the metro station today. I was wary of this gentleman, but figured he must have good reasons for the attack, even if they are only inside his own mind. More, though, I was taken aback at the existence… Read more

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Under Couch World

The only real mistake you can make as a parent is to point a flashlight into the abyss under your living room couch. There is a moment at the end of each night when the kids are asleep, work assignments are finished, Netflix is cued up and all the toys have been put away. The… Read more

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Security Questions – Part 3

Setting up an account with the Franchise Tax Board to pay my taxes, and this is what they wanted to know. If you could change any feature about yourself what would it be? Okay, first things first. I don’t mean to be an asshole about this, but can’t you at least make the grammar correct… Read more

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Porkadise Found

Now that their recent scare with tainted food supply has passed, Chipotle has decided on another tactic to make me sick. Bad advertising. I submit Exhibit A.   Let’s dissect this ad a bit and see if we can figure out where things went wrong. Normally, I’d advise against using sepia tone on a food… Read more

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Eye Doctor

“Have you ever seen the inside of your retina before?” It wasn’t the best pick up line I’d ever heard, but he did pique my interest. “I have not,” I admitted. “Should I?” “Everybody should.” My new optometrist got very excited. “I just want you to know, it’s a little strange if you haven’t seen… Read more

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Overheard on the Elevator

Three people who seemed to know each other got onto the elevator with me coming back from lunch today. There was the usual awkward moment of silence, when the female in the group said, “I just don’t like cinnamon that much.” It was an odd thing to say in mixed company, but one can guess… Read more

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Running Late

I was “that guy” on the Subway today. Basically, I lost track of time trying to figure out how to set conditional formatting in a Google spreadsheet (don’t ask), and it was suddenly fifteen minutes after the time I usually leave to catch my train home. Now, I usually give myself 35 minutes to catch… Read more

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Vote, Sigh.

Having a hard time wrapping my head around this election season. I can’t remember being less excited to vote for… Well, anybody. I wasn’t really a full-fledged thinking person when I cast my first vote in 1996, but I remember thinking I liked Bill Clinton a lot better than Bob Dole, even if Dole was… Read more

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Sal Gets Paid

In a rare occurrence in the worlds of sports and business, today the Kansas City Royals did right by Salvador Perez. On the surface, this appears to be a bit of a bad deal for the Royals, though it will hardly be catastrophic. I imagine the going rate for a decent catcher will probably be… Read more

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