Here’s hoping these headlines don’t become even more infrequent. I say this because a squirrel was found near Los Angeles with the bubonic plague. The real tragedy, of course, is who will make the movie about the bubonic plague if everyone in Hollywood is killed off by it?

In happier news, the royal parents decided to name the new royal baby after Kansas City hall-of-famer, George Brett (or, his great-grandfather). The name “George” is sure to rocket up the popularity charts in coming years, but tattoo artists have yet to reach consensus on which body part will need to be pierced in order to get a “Prince George”.

From the botany beat, a school in Santa Barbara is preparing to celebrate the rare blooming of a so-called “corpse flower” this week. The Indonesian species is known for its foul odor, though school officials haven’t ruled out that the source may be a maintenance worker who had too much chili for dinner last night.

In Detroit, a man was arrested after swimming across the river separating the motor city from the Canadian border. In order to boost city revenues, cops are now planning to stake out an upcoming triathlon.

Finally, in politics, Anthony Weiner broke the internet when it was discovered he has continued to have sexual texting exchanges with several women, even as he was begging a run for Mayor of New York City. While Weiner would be considered nothing more than a sad pervert in most cities, the fact he is connected to the Big Apple has lead to rampant commentary about his indiscretions and taxed comedy writers everywhere who can’t keep up with the flood of jokes on Twitter. 
That’s a long way of saying it’s Friday and I’m not even going to try.
Have a great weekend!
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