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Okay, the guy sitting across from me on the train just finished peeling an orange, and it smells wonderful.

Generally speaking, the scents one experiences in transit are something less than great. Actually, the olfactory assault is usually quite intense.

After trying to mask the body odor of a half-dozen intransients on the subway with whatever remnants of deodorant scent remains inside my dress shirt, a freshly-peeled clementine smells like how I imagine a glass of cool water must taste to an inmate who just finished his shift on the road crew.

Now, if I may get down to it, what are the moral consequences of my trying to swipe one of those slices?

I mean, the guy seems like the type who washes his hands after using the lavatory (though, one can never really tell), so I’ve already determined the fruit to be safe enough to pass a government inspection. (Pre-Trump destroying all required regulatory remedies for keeping us safe from, well, us)

Seriously, what would the guy do if I asked him for a wedge? Would it be better to just act like these oranges were brought on the train for all to share, and grab one?

Is he the violent type? Would he be in awe of my gall? Maybe he knows that it’s actually kind of rude to eat any kind of food directly in the face of a fellow train passenger and accept this as the cost of doing business.

Wow, never mind. He just inhaled that thing. Now, there are just some empty peels on the table between us.

I’m not interested in stealing those.

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