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Published:
7/19/02

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Superman
(For My Parents)

By H.G. Miller

There's a little unknown episode in the Superman comic book series -- left unpublished becaused it was deemed unexcting and not worth the cost -- in which the man of steel has to stand before the Court of Revenue and Taxation for the Greater Metropolis Area.

The Ice Palace. The extravagant vacations with Lois Lane. The cost of feeding his superhuman body had all put Superman into considerable debt.

Superman's good friend Jimmy the photographer had been taking law classes at night, and defended him in court. He told the judge that Superman had simply set aside his worries about finances and instead spent his time saving lives and thwarting evil madmen.

The evil Lawyer-man argued that every person had a responsibillity to the fiscal rules of Greater Metropolis. To hell with the good deeds. Superman must pay.

Eventually, the judge came to his decision and let Superman go. Evil Lawyer-man couldn't believe it and pounded his fists and waived his papers.

"How could this possibly be?" He screamed. "How can you let him go? Look at the money! Look at the forms! In triplicate! My case is air tight!"

"Well, that's all in order" the judge said. "But, he's still Superman."