East "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
By H.G. Miller
INT. EAST SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW - DAY
The edge of a rainbow is visible to the side of the stage. A few
shattered clouds loom nearby.
A NARRATOR appears on a balcony, wearing glorious robes and
speaking with deep tones.
NARRATOR
Welcome to "Somewhere Over
the Rainbow." That wonderful
place where all dreams come
true.
DOROTHY, looking innocent as ever in her blue dress notices
the elegant announcer. She stops to listen.
A nearby STREET PIMP waits for the bus. He stubs out a cigarette
and interrupts the announcer.
PIMP
Hey, buddy. I think you need
to be a little more specific.
DOROTHY
Yeah, this isn't really
"Somewhere Over the
Rainbow." I should know.
I've been singing about it
for ages.
PIMP
You a singer?
DOROTHY
(sheepishly)
Well, I try.
NARRATOR
Ahem. Well, we are in the
Greater "Somewhere Over
the Rainbow" Area.
DOROTHY
Yeah, but this is really East
"Somewhere Over the
Rainbow."
PIMP
East Side!
NARRATOR
Yeah, but it's all the same.
DOROTHY
No, I don't think so. It's a
little misleading.
NARRATOR
East, West, Central. Does it
really matter? It's just like
Los Angeles versus West
Los Angeles.
PIMP
Nah. This is more like an
L.A. versus Pomona kind
of thing.
DOROTHY
He's right.
PIMP
Or, maybe Pasadena.
DOROTHY
You have to understand.
The people in East
"Somewhere Over the
Rainbow" are different
from the city people. Our
dreams didn't really
come true. We got close
to our dreams, but they
still seem so far away.
NARRATOR
So, it's sort of like you're
living in the Valley?
PIMP
Exactly.
NARRATOR
But, you're so close. Why
don't you just drive into
"Somewhere Over the
Rainbow," and chase your
dreams down.
DOROTHY
It isn't as if we haven't tried.
It's just that "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow" is a
scary place when you don't
belong. There are many
obstacles and dead end
streets.
PIMP
And, it's hard to find parking.
NARRATOR
Well, you'll have to forgive
me. I wasn't aware of the
differences in lifestyles.
The narrator gathers up his robes.
NARRATOR
I should be going now.
DOROTHY
Where? Where are you
going?
NARRATOR
Umm, back to the other
side of the hill. I've got
a thing.
DOROTHY
Won't you take us with
you?
NARRATOR
Gee. I don't know. How
will you get back?
PIMP
It's no big deal, man.
We'll crash at your
place.
NARRATOR
My landlord's a real prick
about people staying over.
You know how it is.
PIMP
Yeah, my old lady's the
same way.
DOROTHY
Will you come back to
visit?
NARRATOR
Sure. I'll be by.
DOROTHY
When? When will I see
you again?
NARRATOR
Gosh. It's hard to tell. You
know, it's such a pain in
the ass to get here
sometimes. Traffic and all.
I'll let you know.
The narrator leaves in a flash of light.
Dorothy crumples to the ground.
DOROTHY
And now he's gone. Out
of my life forever. And,
my innocence has
vanished with him.
Dorothy begins to weep.
PIMP
Come on, baby. It's
okay.
DOROTHY
Thank you, stranger, for
your comfort.
PIMP
Say, you got a pretty face.
You ever thought about
being in the movies?
DOROTHY
Of course.
PIMP
No, I mean, the "movies."
He makes a few sexual gestures with his hands.
PIMP
Since you already lost
your innocence and all.
Dorothy stares him down for few moments.
DOROTHY
Okay.