Go Team
By H.G. Miller
While I may get hit upon relentlessly by the boys at the Abbey, I can assure
you that I am wholeheartedly heterosexually male. Sure, I like cats more than
dogs, but I mean it. I'm a guy's guy. No. Not like that. I mean, I love women
almost as much as I love cooking a nice pasta primavera with some fresh ground
basil and…
Okay, this isn't working.
What I'm trying to do is explain my deep affection for sports. The drama. The
athleticism. I love every second of it. I love the camaraderie of a team and
the rush of adrenaline when the underdogs win. And, of course, I quite often
have money riding on the games.
But, we are not here to discuss my gambling problems. Really, I don't have
gambling problems, per se. Just the fact that I always lose. I see that as a
problem. The house may have a different opinion. Actually, in order to develop
a serious gambling habit, one has to win occasionally, and that is difficult
for me.
You see, I have this thing called loyalty.
Let me give an example. That twenty-dollar bet for the Royals to win the World
Series this year - mine.
I have three teams that I root for on a year-round basis: The Kansas City
Royals in baseball, the Kansas City Chiefs in football, and the Kansas Jayhawks
in college basketball. (By the by, if you don't know where I'm from by that
last sentence, I suggest you down a few bottles of Jack and see how fast you
can get from San Francisco to Los Angeles on the 101 freeway.)
I'll go for the K-State wildcats when I see them on the TV, and I'll always
have a place in my heart for the Cubs and Bulls because of watching the WGN
Network while wasting away valuable developmental time as a youth, but those KC
teams and the 'Hawks are my boys.
So, naturally, I was riveted to the NCAA basketball tournament that just ended.
Anyone who knows anything about sports knows that the Chiefs and the Royals
haven't exactly been world beaters recently, so the Jayhawks are really my only
chance to root for a winner.
The boys in crimson and blue tried to give me a heart attack by almost losing
to sixteenth-seeded Holy Cross, but thrashed Stanford in the second round. A
tough win against Illinois should have netted me five dollars, but
unfortunately, when I do win bets, they are with people even poorer than me.
I had a little satisfaction against all the Pac 10 schmucks at work who haven't
left me alone since KU lost to UCLA in January after KU knocked off Oregon and
Missouri took out UCLA. (Have to admit, though, I felt a little dirty actually
pulling for Mizzou to win a game.)
Finally, the Final Four. A season of hard-core rooting for my team amongst the
ne'er do-wells here on the West coast.
“Is Kansas even doing very good this year?”
“Um, yeah. Number one, actually.”
“Wow, that's great. Lost to UCLA though. Ha ha ha!!!”
I won't go into the details of the loss to Maryland in the semifinal games,
aside from saying, if you're going to call fouls, call ALL THE FOULS! Bitter?
Who, me?…
Hey, the guys did good this year. They weren't even supposed to be this good.
I'm proud. I'm happy. I now have the emotional reserve of a winning season that
is needed to root for the Royals.
Opening day, you know. Today. We hit back to back triples for a lead in the
fourth inning. Gave up a home run in the seventh, of course. But, hey, those
are my Royals.
Five bucks says they win tomorrow.